The Official Mark Five FAQ

Q: What does FAQ stand for?
A: Frequently Asked Questions.

Q: How do you pronounce that?
A: FAK.

Q: Why do nerds like acronyms so much?
A: Because then they can protect their monopolistic hold on computer knowledge.

Q: What does MF (Mark Five) stand for?
A: We'd love to tell you, but then we couldn't protect our monopolistic hold on that bit of computer knowledge.

Q: C'mon. Who is Mark Five?
A: Some of our fine visitors have guessed:

• The (illegimate) great-grandson of Mark Twain.
• Mark Gunderloy (of Factsheet Five fame)
• Speed Racer's race car.
• Thirty feet under water.
• A pseudonym for John Galt.
• Named after a brothel in Berlin called "Five Marks".

Q: Is it true that Mark Five is part of a military experiment?
A: No.

Q: Is it true that the writers of Mark Five are part of a military experiment?
A: Yes.

Q: How did Mark Five come about, anyway?
A: Mark Five was originally conceived by the Evolution Control Committee in 1972. At the time, the E.C.C. had a Quasar 4C with a one-byte floppy disk drive and one bit of memory. The E.C.C. created a prototype World Wide Web model out of old coat hangers and Scotch tape, and waited for the rest of the world to catch up.

Q: Who else helped with the creation of Mark Five?
A: Steve is integral in Mark Five's day-to-day operations, for he is the Data God. Mark Five would not exist without the kind help of Mark, for he is the Web God. Thanks also to Vera, Chuck, and Dave, for they are minor deities.

Q: If you were any kind of tree, what kind of tree would you be?
A: Who's asking these questions, Barbara Walters?

Q: Will Mark Five re-format my hard drive?
A: In January 1995, this e-mail chain message was sent out to approximately 500 Internet addresses. THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS MESSAGE IS A HOAX. We have personally surveyed over 100 Mark Five users, and only eight of them had their hard drives re-formatted. But all of them were running beta versions of Windows 95. We put out the standard disclaimers regarding this message, but the rumor reared its ugly head again in April 1995, when this "revised" chain letter surfaced. Needless to say, this one isn't true either.

Q: I've noticed that Mark Five doesn't contain any of those compilations of "cool links" to other "cool" places on the World Wide Web, which is so "cool" that we have to keep reminding ourselves how much "cooler" we are than the other people who are busy doing things like going on dates. Why is that?
A: Because Mark Five is not and will never be "cool." We do, however, have The World's Best Link.

Q: What trophies are collecting dust on the Mark Five mantlepiece?
A: A veritable cornucopia.

• We were named August 1988 Site of the Month by Dukakis '88..
• We have never been on Glenn Davis' Cool Site of the Day. And we will be happy as long as things stay that way.
• C|Net almost reviewed us in their "Best of the Web" section.
• In October 1995, we were named "Worst of the Web" by Best of the Web.
• We have not yet been named Wurst of the Web, but we're wurking on it.
• We have not yet been named Worst of the Web, either.
• We took the liberty of awarding ourselves Point Communication's "Bottom 5% of all Web Sites." How can you pinpoint 5% of something which changes hourly? And take a look at their artwork - THESE GUYS are rating the Web?
• But our greatest achievement was having none of our pages awarded the Internet's highest honor, a mention in Mirsky's Worst of the Web.

Q: How can I get my question in the official Mark Five FAQ?
A: E-mail it to us at markfive at stardevsoft.com. But it better be weird, or we ain't printing it.

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